Feeling much better now. We have had an exciting few weeks and I have been very ill. Mono caused by EBV is the nastiest of illnesses. It would be OK if I had somehow picked up this virus in a fun, exciting way but I it was picked up at the hospital, which is in no way fun or exciting. I never thought I would get so sick from work. I did, it sucked and now I can finally eat and feel almost human enough to attempt to clean my house.
On a happier note, we went off to Philly to support the Mobtown Maulers against the Liberty Bells, the Maulers did not win but it was a great bout and they really worked hard. Our girls are so great and I am happy to support them. They are wonderful skaters and we seem to be doing well for our first two bouts!!! We will be there to watch them skate in Harrisburg, Go Maulers!!!!
Trying to go to Richmond on Sunday, hopefully it will work out, have to see if I am up for it.
That about it....
XXX
Friday, January 26, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Ouch!!!!!!
OK, deadlines are today, I will probably need some Valium by the end of the day. I am playing the waiting game so I figure why not blog. Something I have not done much of lately.
I received my first rink rash on Monday!!!! This may sound strange but....I liked it, sure it hurt and is a bit ugly but now it makes it seem real. We had our first team scrimmages on Monday and I am so excited. I love the Mods and I am learning so much!!! Woo hoo!!
Pretty rink rash.....
I have started to exercise every night that we are not practicing and working on my endurance, strength and flexibility. That leaves little time these days between work, the beans school, practices, and trips over to the gym. The bean is really enjoying school and derby, she is on the National Science Bowl team, plus has auditioned for the school musical.
This weekend finds us in Philly supporting the Maulers!!!
I received my first rink rash on Monday!!!! This may sound strange but....I liked it, sure it hurt and is a bit ugly but now it makes it seem real. We had our first team scrimmages on Monday and I am so excited. I love the Mods and I am learning so much!!! Woo hoo!!
Pretty rink rash.....
I have started to exercise every night that we are not practicing and working on my endurance, strength and flexibility. That leaves little time these days between work, the beans school, practices, and trips over to the gym. The bean is really enjoying school and derby, she is on the National Science Bowl team, plus has auditioned for the school musical.
This weekend finds us in Philly supporting the Maulers!!!
Monday, January 15, 2007
Interesting...
Sigh, you know when you really want something and you are working hard to achieve it, but then there is always that person that try to keep you down or make you feel bad? When I quit dancing I was tired of the little games. I often wondered what made a person so insecure that they had to be such an ugly person. It is an ugly, screwed up way to treat people, especially people that you have to work with and see on a daily basis.
Ouch, do not piss me off you twit.
I have great friends and wonderful teammates, which is why I want to do derby. Thanks you for not making me feel bad, for including me in everything, for taking the time to work with me and for being great ladies!!!
Ouch, do not piss me off you twit.
I have great friends and wonderful teammates, which is why I want to do derby. Thanks you for not making me feel bad, for including me in everything, for taking the time to work with me and for being great ladies!!!
Friday, January 12, 2007
I am a Mod (kind of)
Wooohooooo, I made it onto the Mobtown Mods mentoring team where the lovely ladies of the Mobtown Mods will refine and hone my derby skills. I am sooo excited, one of the girls that made team pick called to say she was sorry that I did not make a team, what, what?!?!?! Sorry, hell no I would rather be on a mentor team of a team that I really want to be on than a team with girls I do not really know!! Now I will be able to spend my time with the best, most outgoing, make-out queens of the derby world!!! Yay!!! Mobtown Mods, thanks for picking me for your mentoring team cause you ladies are the best!!!! Ohhh, and next draft pick me first!!!!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Excited
Well, I am sick, but very very very excited, last night were assessments and team drafts . I am really hoping that I am going to make it onto a team, the best part is even though I sick and the rink was freezing cold, I had a great time and lots of fun. It feels good to be around the girls, they are such great people with lots of enthusiasm. These are the people that I want to be around, each brings something different to the group but it is their differences that make them all very special and unique in their own way. I love that this is so different from dancing, the drive is there but it is supportive, something that I wish dancing could have been. I love it!!
Work has been hectic, lots of submissions that must be done by a quickly approaching deadline. I like this position quite a bit and feel like it is a good move.
XXX
Work has been hectic, lots of submissions that must be done by a quickly approaching deadline. I like this position quite a bit and feel like it is a good move.
XXX
Monday, January 01, 2007
Ummmm
The tree is still sparkly and twinkling, the house is clean and the new year is here. Happy New Year, 2007 has arrived. It arrived quietly for me this year, rain and fog kept me inside, Law and Order put me to sleep. Law and Order is my Ambien, puts me right out. I think while I was healing from the accident I would leave Law and Order on while doped up on morphine, percocets, sudafed (back when it was available over the counter) and some kind of muscle relaxant, somehow I started to associate the show as some kind of sleep aid. Now, it triggers sleep, which is much better that narcotics which make me anxious and itchy.
Speaking of Law and Order, it is on the television now, which means I should get some sleep....
Speaking of Law and Order, it is on the television now, which means I should get some sleep....
Friday, December 29, 2006
Ahhhhh, breathe
“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.”
James Dean
This morning I walked through the hallways, took a trip down to trauma, felt giddy at the prospect that I can eight years later walk through this hospital and be alive. There are no words to explain the high, no substance that could make me feel so elated, no words that capture the feelings of what is going on inside me at this moment. Through all the hurt, the pain, the problems, the mistakes, I have arrived here, the place where it was all given back to me, so in turn I try to give back the compassion, the empathy, the hope that resides here due to the people that dedicate themselves to being here. I am not sure I have ever thanked the people who worked so hard to help me, from my friends, my family, the firemen, the medics, the nurses, the interns, the Drs., and anyone else that contributed to giving me a chance at living. Thank you, you saved my life
“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.”
Buddha (Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta)
James Dean
This morning I walked through the hallways, took a trip down to trauma, felt giddy at the prospect that I can eight years later walk through this hospital and be alive. There are no words to explain the high, no substance that could make me feel so elated, no words that capture the feelings of what is going on inside me at this moment. Through all the hurt, the pain, the problems, the mistakes, I have arrived here, the place where it was all given back to me, so in turn I try to give back the compassion, the empathy, the hope that resides here due to the people that dedicate themselves to being here. I am not sure I have ever thanked the people who worked so hard to help me, from my friends, my family, the firemen, the medics, the nurses, the interns, the Drs., and anyone else that contributed to giving me a chance at living. Thank you, you saved my life
“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.”
Buddha (Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta)
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Mistakes
“Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature. Never try to correct them. On the contrary: rationalize them, understand them thoroughly. After that, it will be possible for you to sublimate them.”
Salvador Dali
I have made so many mistakes and undertaken the task of examining, dissecting and understanding them to become a better me. At times I find it difficult as I filter through various issues with behaviour and actions that I have taken as a result of these mistakes. In making the decision on letting go of a friendship the issues that I fault her for I have had to deal with, analyze and modify, I believe this is why this decision has proved so difficult for me. I in some ways feel helpless and guilty but when the words came pouring out of me the other evening, I realized that I am the pot calling the kettle black in some ways. It is painful and hard for me to see someone experience and go through some of the same issues and approach them in the ways that I previously used to cope. I think what really hurt me the most is realizing how selfish and self-centered she is, I am afraid that to people outside my brain feel the same way about me. Am I self centered and selfish, only caring about myself? I hope not because that would mean I was really ugly person, thinking I was actually caring and trying to help other people when really all I was doing was trying to help myself. I have entered a place in my life where I like to think that I have recognized my mistakes and that I have learned a great deal about myself and in analyzing these mistakes I have become a better me.
hmmmmm..Is this a mistake......
Salvador Dali
I have made so many mistakes and undertaken the task of examining, dissecting and understanding them to become a better me. At times I find it difficult as I filter through various issues with behaviour and actions that I have taken as a result of these mistakes. In making the decision on letting go of a friendship the issues that I fault her for I have had to deal with, analyze and modify, I believe this is why this decision has proved so difficult for me. I in some ways feel helpless and guilty but when the words came pouring out of me the other evening, I realized that I am the pot calling the kettle black in some ways. It is painful and hard for me to see someone experience and go through some of the same issues and approach them in the ways that I previously used to cope. I think what really hurt me the most is realizing how selfish and self-centered she is, I am afraid that to people outside my brain feel the same way about me. Am I self centered and selfish, only caring about myself? I hope not because that would mean I was really ugly person, thinking I was actually caring and trying to help other people when really all I was doing was trying to help myself. I have entered a place in my life where I like to think that I have recognized my mistakes and that I have learned a great deal about myself and in analyzing these mistakes I have become a better me.
hmmmmm..Is this a mistake......
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Yay Santa
Had a lovely Christmas, with my family and friends. I am tired and working now, should have taken off. Made some wise choices regarding an issue I have been dealing with for some time. Feeling pretty good with things lately and the stress and anxiousness of the past few weeks quickly went away by the completion of our Christmas day.
Ahhhh.....
Ahhhh.....
Monday, December 18, 2006
Tra la la Tra lalalala Tra lalalala
I have the Banana Splits theme song stuck in my head...
Here you can listen and then have it stuck in your head all day too!!
http://melaman2.com/cartoons/singles/mp3/banana-splits.mp3
Started my new position today, but seems no one is here to tell me what I am supposed to be doing, nor do I have access to any of my work to get started if I wanted to. Tee hee, so I am working for the most part reorganizing my old office and hanging out.
I am tired, we survived a school project, shopping all, and I mean all day Sat. day, picking up the tree, decorating the tree, cleaning the house, and doing most of my laundry. I am tired and only had four hours of sleep due to the fact I could not delay folding and putting the laundry away, can not stand when the laundry resides in baskets or piles and gathers in places it simply does not belong... Tsk, tsk.
I watched Mary Poppins the other evening, I love Mary Poppins, when I was little I wanted to be all smart and magical, not sure how smart I am but I am still magical and sparkling, well maybe in my universe.
I am extremely upset over the remake of Charlottes Web, which was one of my absolute favorite books in the whole wide world. It makes me sad, but maybe more children will read the book now.
Here you can listen and then have it stuck in your head all day too!!
http://melaman2.com/cartoons/singles/mp3/banana-splits.mp3
Started my new position today, but seems no one is here to tell me what I am supposed to be doing, nor do I have access to any of my work to get started if I wanted to. Tee hee, so I am working for the most part reorganizing my old office and hanging out.
I am tired, we survived a school project, shopping all, and I mean all day Sat. day, picking up the tree, decorating the tree, cleaning the house, and doing most of my laundry. I am tired and only had four hours of sleep due to the fact I could not delay folding and putting the laundry away, can not stand when the laundry resides in baskets or piles and gathers in places it simply does not belong... Tsk, tsk.
I watched Mary Poppins the other evening, I love Mary Poppins, when I was little I wanted to be all smart and magical, not sure how smart I am but I am still magical and sparkling, well maybe in my universe.
I am extremely upset over the remake of Charlottes Web, which was one of my absolute favorite books in the whole wide world. It makes me sad, but maybe more children will read the book now.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Hurrrmmmppphhhh
Crazy week, grant deadline looming, work not completed and we are down to the wire. Hurry up and just give me the stuff so that I have time to edit it and upload it to the powers that be. That being said, I have one more week until the completed transition into my new position, things are going crazy around here, grrrrr....
I did skate in the mayors parade on Sunday which was a really good time. Here are some pictures:
Trying to get ready for the holidays may even try to decorate a bit this evening and make room for the tree, cards are arriving, packages are being shipped, the world is a lovely place even if it is busy at times...
“Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.”
Albert Schweitzer
I did skate in the mayors parade on Sunday which was a really good time. Here are some pictures:
Trying to get ready for the holidays may even try to decorate a bit this evening and make room for the tree, cards are arriving, packages are being shipped, the world is a lovely place even if it is busy at times...
“Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.”
Albert Schweitzer
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Deadlines
So what am I doing posting while I have the huge grant deadline which has been pushed to Tuesday, well I have been enduring headaches, stomach aches and pretty much everything else that comes along with having a grant and paper deadline. Could it be a small grant or an easy paper, NO!!! Why even bother, we should just make it as difficult as possible and have my head explode. It is only 500,000 dollars if I screw up and a rejection letter from the publisher of a top-notch journal. Whew, no pressure there. I also have another abscess in the tooth which has caused some slight swelling in my jaw and a bit of pain, hnnn, could that be a contributing factor in my brain feeling like it should explode, maybe, who knows.....
I believe by posting here it may offer some stress management and alleviate the general anxiety I have been feeling since Monday when I started working on the Biophysics paper and realized the deadline for our internal submission for the grant was actually Tuesday and the grant person would not be in to help me process the said grant.......grrrrrrrr.....
I tried to skate last night but about 1.5 hours into it with the realization that a sandwich is hardly substantial nourishment to make it through the day, let alone three hours of practice, my jaw started to get larger and hurt more, and I just started to feel a bit sick from the antibiotics, I realized skating was not an option or a possibility when all these things popped up. jeez, how did I dance for hours on a cup of coffee and I can not skate even after having lunch, dancing was just as hard and endurance was a huge factor, I guess I am not as young as I was and I realize when I feel crappy now. Kind of sad because practice looked like lots of fun and I really wanted to participate. I guess I will just have to make up for it later!!
back to slave away at the grant, finish the paper and try to fit all the pieces together......
I believe by posting here it may offer some stress management and alleviate the general anxiety I have been feeling since Monday when I started working on the Biophysics paper and realized the deadline for our internal submission for the grant was actually Tuesday and the grant person would not be in to help me process the said grant.......grrrrrrrr.....
I tried to skate last night but about 1.5 hours into it with the realization that a sandwich is hardly substantial nourishment to make it through the day, let alone three hours of practice, my jaw started to get larger and hurt more, and I just started to feel a bit sick from the antibiotics, I realized skating was not an option or a possibility when all these things popped up. jeez, how did I dance for hours on a cup of coffee and I can not skate even after having lunch, dancing was just as hard and endurance was a huge factor, I guess I am not as young as I was and I realize when I feel crappy now. Kind of sad because practice looked like lots of fun and I really wanted to participate. I guess I will just have to make up for it later!!
back to slave away at the grant, finish the paper and try to fit all the pieces together......
Monday, November 27, 2006
I have
not written much lately, not sure if everything in my head is so unsettled or if I have just been too busy. It could be a combination of both and I am not sure if I really want to commit myself to my thoughts at this moment in time. I am in between, in between my thoughts and actions as I wait for everything. I am in between happiness, joy and excitement while also being in between being varying degrees of sadness and confusion.
I will leave it at I been busy skating, hanging with the bean and trying to occupy my time....
"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
Albert Einstein
I will leave it at I been busy skating, hanging with the bean and trying to occupy my time....
"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
Albert Einstein
Monday, November 20, 2006
Yay!!!
A cold, cloudy Monday that makes me happy that I was bundled up this morning with my scarf, hat and gloves. I love when the air feels crisp and it starts to get cold. It is starting to feel like the holiday season!!! I have a lovely 2 days off for the Thanksgiving holiday and I will be spending it between family and friends. I have finished making all my holiday cards and will start my shopping this weekend!! Yay!!!
I have been offered a new position at the department that I am currently employed, I still can not believe that I was accepted for the position, sure I work hard, I love my current position but I am still a bit surprised! Yay.
I can now work on vacation plans for Spring Break for the bean and I, Woo hoooo!!
Puuurrrrrrrrrr
XXX
I have been offered a new position at the department that I am currently employed, I still can not believe that I was accepted for the position, sure I work hard, I love my current position but I am still a bit surprised! Yay.
I can now work on vacation plans for Spring Break for the bean and I, Woo hoooo!!
Puuurrrrrrrrrr
XXX
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
Makes me smile....
“I want to touch the heart of the world and make it smile.”
-Charles De Lint
This morning the world is making me smile, not sure why but it just feels good. The sun is out, work is passing quickly and I feel yummy. I have a bit of joy, here, in me and I plan on sharing it.
I have been working really hard at skating as often as possible, working out, etc. I like it, I needed this and now I am doing it. Hopefully my skating will improve and I am ready for league assessment/team drafts!!
Work is good, I have a new position, it will be fun to learn some new things, makes me happy to think that they picked me out of all the other candidates that had better qualifications and such, I guess they like me. It is nice to be liked.
Still trying to figure out some other things but I suppose everything will work out the way it works out.
Puuurrrrrrrrrrrr.....
XXX
-Charles De Lint
This morning the world is making me smile, not sure why but it just feels good. The sun is out, work is passing quickly and I feel yummy. I have a bit of joy, here, in me and I plan on sharing it.
I have been working really hard at skating as often as possible, working out, etc. I like it, I needed this and now I am doing it. Hopefully my skating will improve and I am ready for league assessment/team drafts!!
Work is good, I have a new position, it will be fun to learn some new things, makes me happy to think that they picked me out of all the other candidates that had better qualifications and such, I guess they like me. It is nice to be liked.
Still trying to figure out some other things but I suppose everything will work out the way it works out.
Puuurrrrrrrrrrrr.....
XXX
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Yawn
Tired this morning, I had weird dreams and did not sleep so well last night or could be that it is rainy and grey outside which does not really make me feel too motivated. Went skating last night and tried to make it around a few times but we went to a rink with dance skaters and they were all over the place, good practice for weaving in between people, locking wheels and being knocked over.
Besides that it is business as usual, working on a grant for the lab and a clinical trial, felling good about a couple of the educational grants that I completed that are being funded and basically trying to delay actually having to work but soon I know the calls will start coming in and it will be another mad, crazy day here in the office, why do I always think I can actually catch up on work when they are out of the office, never happens, silly me.
You can come back
When you want
Just know that I'll be here
I haven't left this step
And when the lights go out
I pick the angel up
I only have two hands
I she here?
Is she here right now?
Drive her off; don't bother to call
I'm checking out today
Me and my charms
Me and my charms
When I kiss the angel
I have a taste of you
When I take the angel
I have a piece of you
I have a piece
You can come back
I haven't left you yet
And when the lights go out
I pick the angel up
I only have two left feet
All I have in my hands
All I have in my hands
Me and my charms
Me and my charms
When I kiss the angel
I have a taste of me and my charms
Me and my charms down on the ground
You can't leave me now
You can't leave me now
I haven't left you yet
All I have in my hands
Me and my charms
Me and my charms
When I kiss the angel
I have a taste of you
When I take the angel
I have a piece of you
I have a piece
Me and My Charms
Kristin Hersh
Hips and Makers
Tralalalalalalalala, some days, the songs are so relevant to my emotions this is an example of where I feel I am today, it will change throughout the day but at this moment, this second, this minute in time, this is where my head is....
Besides that it is business as usual, working on a grant for the lab and a clinical trial, felling good about a couple of the educational grants that I completed that are being funded and basically trying to delay actually having to work but soon I know the calls will start coming in and it will be another mad, crazy day here in the office, why do I always think I can actually catch up on work when they are out of the office, never happens, silly me.
You can come back
When you want
Just know that I'll be here
I haven't left this step
And when the lights go out
I pick the angel up
I only have two hands
I she here?
Is she here right now?
Drive her off; don't bother to call
I'm checking out today
Me and my charms
Me and my charms
When I kiss the angel
I have a taste of you
When I take the angel
I have a piece of you
I have a piece
You can come back
I haven't left you yet
And when the lights go out
I pick the angel up
I only have two left feet
All I have in my hands
All I have in my hands
Me and my charms
Me and my charms
When I kiss the angel
I have a taste of me and my charms
Me and my charms down on the ground
You can't leave me now
You can't leave me now
I haven't left you yet
All I have in my hands
Me and my charms
Me and my charms
When I kiss the angel
I have a taste of you
When I take the angel
I have a piece of you
I have a piece
Me and My Charms
Kristin Hersh
Hips and Makers
Tralalalalalalalala, some days, the songs are so relevant to my emotions this is an example of where I feel I am today, it will change throughout the day but at this moment, this second, this minute in time, this is where my head is....
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Frustration
So you take some anger, some frustration, some guilt, a dash of estrogen and top it all off with OCD and what do you have, a really pissed off me.
I could write a bunch of crap right now but to put it plain and simple I am angry. I say stupid things when I get angry. The remedy for this, fix my bearing and go skate. Skate until I am exhausted then I do not have to worry about it. Tomorrow night I will be really ready to take out some frustration.
I could be petty and say a bunch of things that do not really matter anyway, I could say it all and be finished, have the last word but I just do not feel like it. I would rather skate, get it SKATe. I can skate, skate, skate, skate but who am I fooling, it will not go away, not sure it ever will and then what am I left with a confused, frustrated person that I do not want to be. I will address the issue, work through it and accept it. I will be an adult, use the situation to prove to myself that the last two years or so of therapy have worked and not allow myself to fall apart and go to bits and pieces of Christine, like the puzzle with lost and broken pieces. I am allowed to have an opinion, I am capable of stating my opinion and I am allowed to stand up to a confrontation and state my position without feeling like I have done something wrong by making concise, applicable decision based on things I find relevant to living.
Grrrrrrrrrr....
I could write a bunch of crap right now but to put it plain and simple I am angry. I say stupid things when I get angry. The remedy for this, fix my bearing and go skate. Skate until I am exhausted then I do not have to worry about it. Tomorrow night I will be really ready to take out some frustration.
I could be petty and say a bunch of things that do not really matter anyway, I could say it all and be finished, have the last word but I just do not feel like it. I would rather skate, get it SKATe. I can skate, skate, skate, skate but who am I fooling, it will not go away, not sure it ever will and then what am I left with a confused, frustrated person that I do not want to be. I will address the issue, work through it and accept it. I will be an adult, use the situation to prove to myself that the last two years or so of therapy have worked and not allow myself to fall apart and go to bits and pieces of Christine, like the puzzle with lost and broken pieces. I am allowed to have an opinion, I am capable of stating my opinion and I am allowed to stand up to a confrontation and state my position without feeling like I have done something wrong by making concise, applicable decision based on things I find relevant to living.
Grrrrrrrrrr....
Monday, November 06, 2006
Geez
Quick recap of the weekend.....
Friday had a lovely gathering with some friends, great food, lovely wine, and wonderful company. After the food and such, Denise and I decided to run out for a bit to a local bar, now I remember why I do not frequent bars and such too often, it was crowded and I am a bit over the "scene" stage of my life. Tee hee, never really fit into the "scene" much anyway so I am not upset by this.
Sat morning, I attempted my first outdoor skate, hills, twigs, rocks, cars and such, it was fun and I really enjoyed Druid Hill Park, the leaves, the weather, the crisp air made it the perfect day! I have a ton to work on but I have already improved quite a bit, just need to work at it. Sat. evening was a Day of the Dead party that was OK, not great as the bean had an argument with one of her friends but it was nice to meet some more parents and have some discussions with other parents regarding the school, and such.
Sunday, we cleaned the house, did the laundry and created a plant cell model that was edible (a cake). It was relaxing but I find that the more I sit around it seems that I get moody and restless. I am thinking that the increase in activity though tiring was needed and that now I require a certain level of activity to maintain an equal balance or it could be that I do not need to think to much about certain things when I am busy, an escapist action, must figure this out.
I am wondering when, when, when and become frustrated when I have no answer no when, where, what or how. I keep trying to make decisions and figure out what, where and when I am doing things but it feels a bit one sided and unfair but then I get upset and it seems like a bit one sided and unfair to me and the bean. Can not really come up with a solution so I think I may take a bit from thinking about it and just continue to have fun and enjoy being a derby girl and being a mom, those are things I can do and I enjoy thinking about.
Puuurrrrrrr
XXX
Friday had a lovely gathering with some friends, great food, lovely wine, and wonderful company. After the food and such, Denise and I decided to run out for a bit to a local bar, now I remember why I do not frequent bars and such too often, it was crowded and I am a bit over the "scene" stage of my life. Tee hee, never really fit into the "scene" much anyway so I am not upset by this.
Sat morning, I attempted my first outdoor skate, hills, twigs, rocks, cars and such, it was fun and I really enjoyed Druid Hill Park, the leaves, the weather, the crisp air made it the perfect day! I have a ton to work on but I have already improved quite a bit, just need to work at it. Sat. evening was a Day of the Dead party that was OK, not great as the bean had an argument with one of her friends but it was nice to meet some more parents and have some discussions with other parents regarding the school, and such.
Sunday, we cleaned the house, did the laundry and created a plant cell model that was edible (a cake). It was relaxing but I find that the more I sit around it seems that I get moody and restless. I am thinking that the increase in activity though tiring was needed and that now I require a certain level of activity to maintain an equal balance or it could be that I do not need to think to much about certain things when I am busy, an escapist action, must figure this out.
I am wondering when, when, when and become frustrated when I have no answer no when, where, what or how. I keep trying to make decisions and figure out what, where and when I am doing things but it feels a bit one sided and unfair but then I get upset and it seems like a bit one sided and unfair to me and the bean. Can not really come up with a solution so I think I may take a bit from thinking about it and just continue to have fun and enjoy being a derby girl and being a mom, those are things I can do and I enjoy thinking about.
Puuurrrrrrr
XXX
Friday, November 03, 2006
Ahhhh
Feeling a bit better, not so cranky or anything today, thank goodness because I was really annoyed. I think skating on Wednesday night helped because it wears me out. I have my derby name now, hopefully I will be allowed to change it from what I originally had, the new one suites me well.
This week has not been too bad, I may have a new position which is nice or they may create a new title/position for me within the center, it is good to be liked.
Tonight should be lots of fun, having some people over for dinner and maybe some board games. The bean is off having fun with a friend and preparing her house for a day of the dead party tomorrow evening. Then tomorrow morning outside skate in the chilly morning, some work on the last project of the quarter, and some cleaning. Sunday is another morning skate outside, then project completion, and open skate at the rink Sunday night. Busy but fun!!!
that's it for now....
Puurrrrrr....
This week has not been too bad, I may have a new position which is nice or they may create a new title/position for me within the center, it is good to be liked.
Tonight should be lots of fun, having some people over for dinner and maybe some board games. The bean is off having fun with a friend and preparing her house for a day of the dead party tomorrow evening. Then tomorrow morning outside skate in the chilly morning, some work on the last project of the quarter, and some cleaning. Sunday is another morning skate outside, then project completion, and open skate at the rink Sunday night. Busy but fun!!!
that's it for now....
Puurrrrrr....
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