I am a bit disappointed

I feel a bit disappointed in derby right now, not the team I am working with but the internal strife of the whole league right now. This is a sport, people win and people lose. I understand that no one wants to lose but I feel like in order to get better and increase your skills, you need to play with your team and you need to lose with your team to figure out what mistakes you are making and how to correct them. There is talk of having "star" guest skaters from other teams skating with the teams that are not ranking highly yet to keep the point spreads closer and making the game more exciting for the fans. My problem here is that with only 14 girls on the roster, if you have 1-2 girls coming in the weaker 1-2 skaters on the team will get benched and not be able to play. This is sad to me to see girls who are busting their butts to try and improve, learn to use their strengths, made it onto teams, and then be made to sit on the sidelines during the bouts. It makes me think that the people that suggest this idea have little faith in the freshmeaters on the league. I was so impressed with the teams that had the most freshmeat girls skating on Sunday and the marked improvement those girls had made in four short weeks since the first bout, pulling it together and start working with each other in strategy and looking like a team. It is so early in the season and if they have guest skaters will there ever be room on a team for me or a chance of improving to be bout ready? Will they ever find out what the freshmeaters are capable of improving to the point of being able to play on their own with their respective teams? Will the freshmeaters that get to skate feel like they are better then the alternates and the girls that are benched? Arrrghhhhhh....

It makes me sad to see many people get so upset about losing, this is about fun and working with your league and teams focusing on improving at all levels. When focusing on just winning it loses much of what has drawn so many of us to this sport, the support of friends, personal improvement, working with a group of people, and having some fun while maybe being able to work out some of the every day stress we all encounter daily.

Sleepy

I must be getting too much sleep or waking up too much in the middle of the night because I am tired. I have been retiring early this week and waking later but I am up every 2-3 hours due to poison ivy, then it takes forever to fall back to sleep. I have also been having bizarre dreams, maybe because I am waking so much and have lots of things on my mind. It is strange that during the day I do not seem to have lots on my mind and certainly nothing that correlates with these bizarre dreams but obviously my brain has decided to dredge up some weirdness. *SIGH*

Poison Ivy

Well I did not go out on Friday, I was all ready to go and then decided not to go. The reason is I was feeling slightly itchy, then increasingly itchier, then really, really, itchy, th cause of this discomfort...POISON IVY!!!! I though that I had done everything I could not to come in contact with urushiol which I am extremely allergic to but alas, after showering as soon as digging the hole, after, looking before digging, I now have spots on various spots of my body. It is uncomfortable especially since as soon as clothing comes in contact with the spots is itches like crazy. No need for steriods yet so I think it was a very minor case for me, thank goodness!!!

Mothers Day was quiet and relaxing, just lounged around the house. Sat we went to a outdoor festival at the beans school, was fun for about an hour then we went home and cleaned!!! Yay, the house is mostly clean now.

Missed practice on Sat. as my foot has poison ivy and it is uncomfortable to put shoes on as they rub let alone skates. I will try to attend this evenings practice but we shall see..

Country Night

I have been going out and being social again, it is great fun.

Last weekend we went to see Nekromantix they were fun! Had a great time, met some new people, spent some time with people I am acquainted with, and played pool. This the link to the band http://www.nekromantix.com/disco.html

Tonight is Country Night at the Ottobar, should be a good time and I love drinking to Patsy Cline...David Allan Coe and Hank Williams!

I mean really with lyrics like this how could you go wrong:
Well it was all that I could do to keep from cryin'
Sometimes it seemed so useless to remain
But you don't have to call me darlin' darlin'
You never even call me by my name
You don't have to call me Waylon Jennings
And you don't have to call me Charley Pride
And you don't have to call me Merle Haggard anymore
Even though you're on my figtin' side
And I'll hang around as long as you will let me and I never minded standing in the rain
But you don't have to call me darlin' darlin' you never even call me by my name

Well I've heard my name a few times in your phonebook (hello hello)
And I've seen it on signs where I've played
But the only time I know I'll hear David Allan Coe
Is when Jesus has his final judgement day
So I'll hang around...

(Well a friend of mine named Steve Goodman wrote that song
And he told me it was the perfect country and western song
I wrote him back a letter and told him
It was not the perfect country and western song
Because he hadn't said anything at all about mama
Or trains or trucks or prison or gettin' drunk
Well he sat down and wrote another verse to the song and he sent it to me
And after reading it I realized
That my friend had written the perfect country and western song
And I felt obliged to include it on this album the last verse goes like this here)

Well I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison
And I went to pick her up in the rain
But before I could get to the station in a pickup truck
She got run'd over by a damned old train
And I'll hang around...
David Allan Coe

I think they might have played that on the jukebox at a bar I used to frequent in New York. As a matter of fact I think there was a crazy bar in NY that all they played was country and I think I went there quite a bit, kind of fuzzy on the actual name, I think it was in the East Village though. Hmmmmmm, maybe I will remember it later...I wonder if it still is there.

Puuurrrrrrr

XXX

Cleaning

That is what I am doing this weekend, Spring cleaning, due to the amount of things I have been doing lately I have decided to actually clean the house for real this weekend. I have decided since I was Spring cleaning now is a good time to lay the ghosts to rest and focus on my life now not life in the past, when it is ready to be dealt with the ghosts will tell me, hopefully. I should watch Ghostbusters, tee hee....

I have been busy, roller derby bouts, practices, social aspects of derby, going out with friends, spending time with the bean, enjoying the great outdoors and burying dead rodents. Unfortunately the rodent that belonged to the bean was captured by our hunter kitty Fey. She snatched him right out of the cage with her paw and took off with him in her mouth. The little Hamham tried really hard to get better but passed on Tuesday afternoon. It is hard work burying a Hamham, this was the first experience I have had with having to bury a pet. It was sad, the bean was quite upset but is doing better now.

I have been having lots of fun skating, learning some effective skills for me to get better, and just really enjoying the team I am working with. I am really happy with roller derby right now and having lots of fun plus pushing myself physically which is something I have been lacking for a few years.

I feel happy about many things but one thing I am not happy with is work, gggrrrrrrrr.... The interesting thing is I love my work, I just do not like the politics of the position. The stress is overwhelming and sometimes I just want to knock people over, I need to learn how to harness that aggressiveness for the rink as I need to be more aggressive and engage more. I just feel a bit overwhelmed as we have three major deadlines in the next three weeks and I just do not feel like working, I just want to play.

I guess I should at least attempt to get some work done today.....

XXX