Sunday, March 26, 2006
Thinking
Well that is all I have been doing since yesterday. I am trying to figure out some solution and have arrived at none. I am trying so hard to change my deep programming and it has required professional help but where is it getting me? I feel as if I have a fire of destruction creating a burn out where there should be nurturing and growth. I have allowed no time to nurture self, nor have I has anyone stepped to help in this nurturing. I have had a twisted energy of release and approached it with automatic program that pushes away what I actually want and need, turning myself away from things that would give me satisfaction, fulfillment and joy because I can not have what I want, so it seems easier to want nothing. The only solution I have come up with is if you love something, let it go, but that is not a solution at all. I need to jump out of my stuck in the mud before I am pushed. Arrrggghhhh.... I just want to lay in my bed and cry some more while I try to process and think of some other solution........
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2 comments:
You can have your fears, you can have your moments of doubt, but you can never be a coward. You have to face your fears, you have to overcome your moments of doubt, you have to believe that if you look for it there is always a solution. If you really want something, the whole universe is going to conspire to help you. But to do that, you have to be brave. Brave enough to fight for things that are meaningful to you. Not meaningful to A, B or C, but to you.
Thanks!! I appreciate it, still working on it but it is starting to become clearer!!!
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