All kind of things

Sometimes I have all kind of things going on in my head, right now I feel a bit conflicted and grumpy which has carried over from yesterday. I am trying to sort it ll out. Sometimes I feel so much and so deep, it is true I am a creature that has many emotional reflections and they at times seem to rule me. I feel very passionate right now about some things going on in my life and I wonder if I have acurately conveyed thi9s passion and excitement to others. I mean I feel a rush when speaking of certain things and when talking sometimes it feels as though people on the other end do not quite understand this, I am met with silence at times. Could it be that they can not relate, how sad would it be to live in a world without strong feelings. I know it is horrible as I medicated myself and was devoid of any feelings for 6 months, it to me was the worst thing ever, now I will admit that ups and downs do occur but to be even all the time is not who I am and I will never be that person. I am not "safe" and "secure", in some ways I have become those things as far as financial responsibility and things of those nature. I am full of love, life, passion, sparks and lust, I want sunshine, thunderstorms, fun and excitement those things are what make me happy. I feel very shut out of some of my relationships, very uninvolved and when examining my relationships I realize this must change, but am unsure how to move forward with this change. I think communication is the answer but it is hard to communicate with people who are not willing to participate. I want to share so much of who I am that I guess to others maybe it is overwhelming at times. I am sure given time this will resolve itself as I find a balance and better ways to communicate my desires and what I want from my life.