Days

It has been days but everytime I stop to sit down and blog, I can not focus on forming my thoughts into coherent patterns that are easily conveyed through this medium. I suppose with all bad things, good things will happen to make it seem less, well bad. This weekend has been spent spoiling my Merlin as much as possible though he is withdrawing more and sleeping more that is to be expected. I fear he will not be returning home with us on Monday, I could be wrong as hope creeps into the firm resolve I have set in my mind that this is the end of his existence with us. Puuuurrrrrrr, I love my kitten and will make a decision on what is best for him. I find it hard to hold another creatures life in my hands and to be able to make that decision, I am not entirely comfortable with it but realize that suffering and pain are not things I would want to continue if it was my life.One thing I do know is that animals do not have fear when it comes to death, unlike most humans, they know when it is time to let go and realize when it is futile to fight for survival any longer. All of this comes on a week when two fighters at work have finally decided to let the process start for them. It makes me a bit sad as hope is always sprouting up into me but I realize it is time for them to accept their decline and prepare for the next step. They fought hard to survive and beat their disease but in the end no matter what their mind thinks their bodies ultimately rules on this one. I hope they face this without any fear and realize that it is not so hard. I find myself in a similar situation as last summer, work and home are tough right now but at the end of the day I can still smile through my tears because I know that this is life and death is part of living.