Seems like fall

It is a couple of weeks to the official start of fall but it is coming, I feel it, smell and am experiencing the beginning of the autumn equinox. This is my favorite time of year, the leaves changing, the crispness in the air, the cool winds, pumpkin pie, colorful fall vegetables.....The change. The change is happening on the outside as well as inside me, I am happy, I feel good and I have a spark. I have good friends, some new friends, and a sense of adventure. I have a come to the realization that in the past two years I have changed. The changes are positive, I feel lighter, better and a bit more grounded. I am thinking that the changes I started have developed into my life being more fulfilled. I think these are good things, that the work is starting to pay off, but in doing so I also realize that I must maintain this to see the full effects. I am very happy to have found some people in my life that I enjoy being around, they do not stress me out, they are helpful, fun to be around and do not suck my energy, thank goodness!! I love the fact that some of the people I have surrounded myself with are completely selfless and that they do not even realize they are selfless, that is the best part. They do what they do without even realizing this, that makes them pretty wonderful in my eyes and when pointed out to them they just laugh and say "Don't get all sappy now". I am sappy though, emotional and caring, that is what makes me keep going. I love, I laugh, I cry when happy and when sad. My life has certainly taken on a new awareness and I like it, I will not compromise it and I will be honest about it even if it is sappy. Lately, I find myself telling the people that I care about how important they are to me, in this phase of my life honesty of my feelings and thoughts are what I feel I need to share.
One thing about working with the patients has really opened up my eyes to is that no matter who you are, where you have been, what you have, how much money you have, it does not matter things happen no matter what you do. I am positive there is a reason that I have learned this over the past few years, I had a brief brush with it myself but nothing prepared me for the affects of living with it in real life pretty much five days a week. I feel this was something that I needed to experience to fully understand and learn. So who and I now: no more no less, a mother, lover, friend, partner, force of nature, fresh meat for a roller derby league, a carbon based life form, comfortable in my own skin, and a human being; I am Christine, and I am happy for that finally. It has been a long, tough, heart wrenching battle at times but it has been so worth it.

Puuuurrrrrrrr


XXX