Memories

Last week a box was returned to me that I have not seen in about 11 years. Inside I found some wonderful memories. Memories are funny things for me. I concentrate so much on recovering the ones that have been lost to fix me that I think at times I have overlooked the ones that are beautiful and wonderful. In the box were toys of the beans that she played with as a wee lass. Books that she loved when she was about 18 months old, letters received from friends from when I was 20, a painting that was painted for me, pictures of the bean from when she was so little. All in all good memories from a mind that has forgotten so much. The memories come easier now, not as much work to bring them forth but reliving the trauma associated with some is difficult. The beautiful ones made my heart swell and made me very happy. I guess it balances out but I need to remember I suppose that things are not always as bad as they seem and I am becoming a better person because of all of the work that is going into this. It at times seems very dream-like and surreal.

Purrrrrr.